July 14, 2024
  • Aaron submitted his Tinder profile for review by an expert as part of Insider’s Dating App Clinic.

  • Expert Erika Ettin said 26-year-old Aaron’s “NATO,” or not-attached-to-an-outcome dating mentality is beneficial.

  • Ettin suggested Aaron replace some of his photos to better round out his profile.

Aaron, a 26-year-old using Tinder to date, submitted his profile for Insider’s Dating App Clinic, a series where we ask experts how to revamp your dating profiles to increase your chances of finding a match.

Aaron said he’s looking to date women. He’s seeking someone who is independent, respectful, and caring.

He said his deal breakers are someone who is clingy or dependent, close-minded, or cynical.

“I’m extremely passionate about life. I love everything about living, like adventures, art, music, food, learning, and everything in between,” Aaron told Insider. He said he can be a “goofball” but also has a more “clinical and calculated” side.

He said his ultimate goal is finding a life partner, but wants to date more casually fine casually dating for the time being.

Aaron said he thinks he accurately portrays his physical appearance and personality through his photos, but would like help figuring out to frame his new casual dating goal in his profile.

“I’ve never ‘casually’ dated, but I would like to, as I would like to get to know more people before I decide to settle down again. But I feel like saying that I’m searching for something ‘short-term’ implies that I’m just looking for sex, and ‘new friends’ implies that I have no romantic interest. How can I find my middle and embrace my casual?”

Dating coach Erika Ettin told Insider how Aaron could update his Tinder profile to increase his chances of finding a match.

If you’d like to have your profile reviewed by experts, submit here.

Right away, Ettin said that Aaron is physically attractive and has an empowering dating mindset.

Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.

Dating coach Erika Ettin reviewed Aaron’s Tinder profile and offered tips on how he could improve it for more compatible matches.Insider

From what Aaron shared about his dating goals — that he wants casual dates that could become something more, if the fit is right — it’s clear that he has an intentional mindset that will serve him well, according to Ettin.

She said she generally refers to Aaron’s strategy “NATO,” or “not attached to an outcome,” and said this mentality can benefit singles greatly.

“This means you can go on dates and not have a prescribed outcome like marriage that you feel beholden to. Rather, you can get to know the person as an individual and see how they fit into your life — if they do — versus back-filling them into some arbitrary future,” Ettin told Insider.

Ettin said she’d edit Aaron’s written bio to better highlight his most enticing details.

Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.

Aaron’s written bio could stand out with a few tweaks, Ettin said.Insider

According to Ettin, Aaron’s honesty and specificity in his bio,

For example, she loved how Aaron mentioned his love of the game Magic: The Gathering, saying that showing off hobbies and quirks is a great way to get other singles’ attention.

“Plus the joke about the shower was funny, since it dispels whatever stereotypes people have about those who play the game,” Ettin said.

At the same time, Ettin said she’d make a few edits to Aaron’s written bio. First, she’d nix the first line, where Aaron says he’ll never bore his matches like other men might.

“You have one chance to make a first impression, so don’t use it for something that’s cliché and puts down others,” Ettin said.

Rather, she suggested Aaron jump right into his unique qualities and interests, writing something like:

“Grad student and wannabe chef who likes both artsy adventures and Magic: The Gathering. Lifts all the weights to eat all the foods. Equal parts heavy metal and Taylor Swift (no shame). My job is serious, so the rest of life doesn’t have to be.”

Finally, Ettin said she’d remove the last line of Aaron’s existing written bio, since saying “Best of luck” is unnecessary in this context.

Aaron should also consider removing this group photo, since it could be confusing for potential matches, Ettin said.

Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.

Dating experts recommend avoiding group photos in dating profiles.Insider

“It’s almost impossible in most group photos to tell whose profile it actually is,” Ettin said.

She said that potential matches will rarely take the time to decipher who is who in your photographs, so taking the guess work out of the process can be helpful for landing more matches.

According to Ettin, it’s best to avoid group photos altogether.

“I understand the desire to show that you have friends. But unless all of your photos are mirror selfies, which I do not recommend, then the assumption is that you have friends, or that someone took a photo for you,” Ettin told Insider.

She suggested Aaron replace this photo with one that shows him enjoying a hobby or spending time at a location he loves, like a sporting event or brewery, for example.

Ettin said Aaron’s photo selections could use an update, since some of the current ones could give potential matches the wrong first impression.

Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.

Aaron should consider swapping out this silly face photo for a full-body shot, Ettin said.Insider

Ettin said that many of Aaron’s photos, like this one with his tongue out, may turn off potential matches.

She said that singles may use these photographs to seem playful, relaxed, or nonchalant, but they tend to have the opposite effect.

According to Ettin, Aaron should consider replacing this photo with a full-body shot, since he doesn’t have one in his profile yet.

Here, Aaron comes off as “bro-y,” which could deter potential matches, Ettin said.

Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.

Aaron should set aside time to take more current photos for his profile, Ettin said.Insider

She said that Aaron seems like a happy and fun-loving man, but this photograph could lean too far into goofy territory and come off as inauthentic.

Plus, Aaron mentioned in his written bio that his hair is shorter now, so it’d serve him well to replace this photo with one that shows off his current look, according to Ettin.

Ettin said she’d also replace this photo, but would understand if Aaron wanted to keep it.

Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.

This photo, like a few of Aaron’s others, has a bro-like vibe, Ettin said.Insider

She said that men often want to show off their physiques in their dating profiles, thinking it will attract more women.

While that can be the case, Ettin said she instructs her clients to post photos with a bit more intrigue.

“If you have muscles, that’s great. But let your match be pleasantly surprised later when you’ve mutually decided to show each other. Trust me, with arms like that, he’ll look equally as good in a fitted shirt,” Ettin said.

Still, if Aaron is set on including this picture, he should stick with his gut, Ettin said.

Finally, Ettin suggested Aaron remove the “short-term fun” tag from his profile.

Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.Aaron submitted his Tinder profile to Insider's Dating App Clinic.

Presets on dating apps, like tags for your relationship goals and interests, can confuse potential matches, Ettin said.Insider

Since Aaron mentioned his interest in casual dating, Ettin could see why Aaron opted for this tag.

But using a label like this could actually deter compatible matches, she said.

“‘Short-term fun’ is generally synonymous with no-strings attached sex,” Ettin told Insider.

She suggested Aaron remove that tag altogether, or replace it with the one that says “Don’t know yet.”

Overall, Ettin said that Aaron did a good job showing off his personality and how he sees himself, and that a few small changes could make his profile stand out.

“These changes should help to both get more matches and hopefully generate some more substantive conversations that could then lead to dates,” Ettin said.

She also said Aaron could consider Hinge if he wanted to venture onto another dating app.

Read the original article on Insider

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