May 23, 2024

Our weekly unworthy Pulitzer Prize recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism.

As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From the Headlines, we once again note the sub-exalted performances from our journalism industry in numerous categories to properly recognize the low-water mark in the press.

Advertisement

Distinguished National Reporting

In some clearly supportive coverage of the Virginia State House candidate Susanna Gibson caught up in a scandal, Gabriel reveals his sympathies. Gibson was discovered to have been performing sexual acts with her husband live on camera for money on the adult sex website Chaturbate

Trip tries to be evasive by saying there are “reports” of her performing these acts, despite the images and videos being viewed by anyone interested. He allows Gibson to classify these videos as “sex tapes” and have her lawyer mention the illegality of recording someone without their consent. Also uncritically reported is their claim that these images were “leaked” to the public, and all of this is laughably called a violation of her privacy.

Gibson was on a public site and consented to have people watching her have sex on screen. Saying this reality was leaked implies someone inside her campaign or elsewhere obtained these images. Gabriel nowhere mentions that at one point, Gibson had 5,600+ followers on her live sex account.

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

Advertisement

  • Manu Raju – CNN

Following the announcement by Kevin McCarthy that he was going forward with an impeachment inquiry regarding President Biden, CNN’s Capitol Hill correspondent, Manu Raju, rose to the challenge of questioning the Speaker of the House on this matter. Raju was there to press McCarthy on not staging a floor vote first and why he was bypassing this step and moving right into the Inquiry. 

This is a bit of a departure from when Nancy Pelosi called for an impeachment inquiry of Donald Trump and avoided a similar vote, and yet, there was no concern.

From the press.

Such as CNN.

As reported by…Manu Raju.

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

In a disturbingly cloying piece supporting the state’s efforts to wrest children from families, this op-ed tries to stipulate that parents have no right to know of their child’s mindset on transitioning. Malbogat balks at parents needing to be notified if their child wants to deviate with a new pronoun identifier and other trans issues for children. Meanwhile, she goes into grand detail about her own activities with her 11-year-old child’s transitioning process throughout the piece.

Advertisement

In other words, it is acceptable for a parent to have involvement with the transgender issues of their child, as long as their actions comport with the government’s approved position on the matter.

Distinguished Cultural Criticism

  • Jennifer Kingson – Axios

We are all familiar with those select journalists who seem rather keen to come up with being the first to spot what is considered to be a new trend bursting on the scene. However, in the case of Kingson, it is approaching a level of desperation. Jennifer looked over the culture, and she decided that a new craze was distracting the country this Fall season. So, just what is this Hot new trend?

Ice.

You read that correctly. Ice is supposedly something that is consuming the minds of consumers. As if this were not ridiculous enough, her list of examples is not only rather pedestrian but also distinctly…old.

People are ordering iced coffee, cocktails are being made with ice orbs with items such as flowers added inside, people are using ice trays with curious mold shapes in the home, and one refrigerator maker has a shaped ice cube maker option. You know, the kind of crap we have all been seeing for years.

Then, just to top it all off, Jennifer adroitly segues into an environmental lecture about climate change and the controversies of people enjoying the benefits – of ice.

Advertisement

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

Over at CNN, they are grappling with a number of issues as a result of long-term incompetence, with ratings being among the top priorities. One of the perpetual drags on their numbers over the years has been the number of moribund morning shows trotted out, each of which seemed to deliver lesser results, lagging well behind the numbers of “Fox & Friends” and even the unwatchable “Morning Joe.” 

In an effort to move away from the failed experiment that was the very brief Chris Licht era as CEO, we learn from The Wrap that the very cleverly named “CNN This Morning” has come up with a new studio appearance! This, we are told, is a “Fresh New Look – Literally”!

Sounds damned exciting! So, just what is it they are going with that is new and exciting in the morning — what is it that is so fresh?!?!?!

Um…brickwork.

Not only is this a distinctly unhip and deeply unoriginal design, but the impact is further blunted when told this is similar to sets currently employed on a few other CNN shows, as well as being a throwback to past morning show set designs. But sure, fresh.

Advertisement

Distinguished International Reporting

Sometimes, you have to wonder about scientists. Vlad the Impaler is a now mythic figure said to have been a bloodthirsty murderer, as well as serving as the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” character. Researchers have been studying the letter penned by Vlad, analyzing the surfaces to glean insight from the molecular fragments found thereupon.

  • New research extracted thousands of fragments of protein molecules from the surface of these letters and isolated about 500 of those that showed signs of degradation, indicating they were over 500 years old. Researchers isolated a further 100 of the most degraded proteins, which were likely the oldest. Study co-author Gleb Zilberstein said there was also an absence of animal food proteins among the molecules extracted from the letter. “Food proteins are found only in plant foods.”

So, the conclusion the scientists have come up with as a result: Dracula was a vegan.

Distinguished Local Reporting

Following an investigation at Bridgeport High School, soccer coach J.D. Bales subsequently resigned at the School district’s board of trustees meeting. The investigation initially was looking into incidents of hazing by the team members and, in the course of the research, turned up evidence that Bales had been frequenting regional strip clubs and had spent upwards of $5,000. 

Advertisement

These charges may not specifically be a problem, but Bales probably erred when he was charging those fees on the Bridgeport School District credit card.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *